


Kiss Me, I'm Sh*tfaced

by Varmint



Series: Kankuro's Lonely Corner [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied Sexual Content, Parties, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 16:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10517166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: Kankuro stumbled upon alcohol accidentally. No matter what others say, he calls it a happy accident. One-shot! Not really angst, but not really happy either. Alcohol abuse and family dysfunction. Inspired by Dropkick Murphy's "Kiss Me, I'm Sh*tfaced" and my own drunken misfortunes.





	

There was something off with his drink. Kankuro didn't understand what it was. He just knew that Temari had said that this party would be amazing and he wouldn't really need to worry about anything.

The girl that had given him the drink had her arm slung over his shoulder with a broad smile on her face, "You're fine, Kanky... Want another drink?"

He'd barely finished the first one... But, Kankuro had to admit, it tasted _really good_.

"Sure thing." He smiled back at Temari's friend, swirling the cup around in his hand. "Just what is it, though? Tastes different than just normal soda."

His words... There was something weird about how he was speaking. Just like how he was seeing the world. It was as if his vision had compacted suddenly and only permitted him to focus on one thing at the moment.

And the lips of the girl before him were the one thing that stood out the most to him among the swaying bodies around them. Bright red, done up with vibrant lipstick. Nice and plump.

How would it feel to kiss them?

"It's a secret ingredient." She smirked over at him before grabbing his hand and tugging him up, which made him sway uncharacteristically and frown at this odd fact. "Don't worry about that. Don't you want more to drink?"

The teenage boy screwed his face up as he tried to look at her directly, fight away the sudden dizziness that hit him. His mind swam with thoughts he couldn't quite catch, some telling him to deny, most telling him to accept. And his body swayed just slightly, moving closer to her so he would be just a tiny bit more stable as his body fought to stay upright.

But even with the odd new sensations, Kankuro couldn't help but smile broadly. The weight that had been looming over his shoulders... It had suddenly disappeared.

 _He liked that_.

"Sure."

He was then tugged along by the girl as if nothing more than a lost puppy, another odd tasting drink thrust into his hand before she invited him onto the dance floor.

~/~

The first time he drank, he didn't know he was drinking. But it was a fun experience. He didn't throw up at all. Even though he did black out after his third drink.

All he could truly remember was amazing lips kissing him and wandering hands groping him. Aside from that, he couldn't truly remember much.

When their father found out that he and Temari had gone to a wild drinking party, it was him to get all the blame. Temari may have been the eldest, but Kankuro was supposed to protect her honor or something. And because the bitch had decided to lose her virginity that night, Kankuro almost lost an arm to their father.

~/~

Gaara was becoming increasingly more volatile. It worried the fuck out of his siblings.

After the first party he had gone to at the ripe age of thirteen, Kankuro had stayed as far away as possible from any kind of alcoholic drink. Even when Temari tried to pull him towards her parties, he remembered the beating handed to him and immediately refused to go.

But no human was perfect. He had known that alcohol had one of the most appetizing tastes in the world. Having alcoholic concoctions trickle into his stomach as that wonderful girl kissed him breathless had been the highlight of his entire _life_ up until that point. And it was impossible to think that he wouldn't want to try and regain those amazing sensations after some time.

One day, a boy from the academy invited him to his house to hang out a bit. Kankuro had agreed without much thought, more than used to staying at other's houses when Gaara was in his horrid moods. He didn't want to spend time around the monster that was his younger sibling, the monster that was his father, or the monster that was his sister. So accepting had seemed like the only reasonable thing to do.

The first hour had been normal. They had traded knowledge on jutsu, talked about asshole parents, and spoken about normal teenage things.

But then his friend's big brother had come along with his own friends, reeking of beer and cigarettes. The older ninja had taken one look at them, smirked darkly, and thrown a six pack of beer towards Kankuro.

"Drink up, rich boy. It's good for you."

Kankuro looked at the bottles uncertainly. But then his friend swiped them from his hands, took one from the container, opened it up, and gulped down a giant drink from it.

"Come on, Kankuro. He's actually being nice for once; a truly odd phenomena."

The puppeteer eyed the drink for one more second before he shrugged and took the bottle his friend offered.

It wouldn't be the same as the first time. There wouldn't be any soft lips on his. But the alcohol would make him feel warm and fuzzy inside and it would at least make him forget about his crappy family for a few hours.

~/~

The second time Kankuro drank, he did not expect to be kissed breathless. But he was. Not by his friend, but instead by his friend's brother. They wound up making out against the wall of the hallway, all the while his friend stalled Temari when she came to look for him.

It was because of this experience that Kankuro learned a few things: First, guys could kiss just as amazingly as girls if given enough time and practice. Second, with a good cover story, most of his drunkenness could be explained by stomach sickness. And third, and most importantly, beer and cigarettes mixed wonderfully.

~/~

No matter how much his father had tried to beat fear into him, Kankuro could not stay away from alcohol.

He loved the taste. He loved the effect. He loved everything about anything that was considered alcoholic. And he couldn't get enough of it, even though he was more than aware that everyone had their limits.

Quite frankly, he couldn't remember quite a few of his drunken antics. He could remember getting offered drinks, he could remember accepting them, and he could remember some new piece of eye candy that chose to hang onto him for some reason beyond him. But there were so many blanks in his mind of the nights that he drank that he didn't even wonder if he should worry about it.

He had lost count of how many times he had drank by the time he ended up truly regretting every single choice he had ever made in his life.

The smell of tobacco clung heavily to his clothes as his stomach convulsed and revolted, his forehead rested against his forearm on the rim of the toilet.

He wasn't sure where in the hell he was... It wasn't a friend of Temari's... Maybe this was a party thrown by a friend of his? He couldn't truly remember and he didn't really care.

His eyes stung and tears rolled down his cheeks. Kankuro retched in a manner that sounded disgusting even to himself, body apparently having decided that it couldn't take all the alcohol he had fed it.

It irked him to no end to taste the revolting aftermath of his vomiting mixed in with the cigarettes he had smoked.

Such good alcohol... And it had gone to waste...

His mind was drifting. He couldn't really focus on what was happening. He was only sure that his forehead was resting against his forearms instead of the toilet itself because that part of his face was warm, even though his right cheek was much too cold.

From behind him, he took note of some kind rustling or steps nearing him. He wasn't sure. But then he felt his hood being pulled off his head and a pair of lips kissing his sweaty hair. Then hands appeared on his shoulders, rubbing at them. Then the lips moved down to kiss at his neck, bite at his ear, lick at his jawline.

~/~

At this point, Kankuro learned to not mix any drinks.

And that fourteen year olds could be unbelievably _sexual_.

~/~

By the time he was sixteen, Kankuro was more than aware that he had a problem.

More often than not, he wound up drinking himself to oblivion and ended up losing good portions of his night because of this. With a cigarette in one hand and the lay of the night in the other, he would not give a single shit about any kind of health problems he may be causing himself because of his partying ways.

Temari worried. Gaara worried. Baki worried. Kankuro didn't give a single shit.

Tonight was yet another good night. The drinks were flowing and his chosen partner for the night, the friend with which he'd experienced his second drinking adventure with years go, was more than ready to go.

In one hand, Kankuro had his favorite: a shot of pure whiskey. In the other he had a lit cigarette. And on his lap, he had his friend. The other male moved his hips in an amazingly tantalizing way that had Kankuro smirking in anticipation, then he leaned down to steal a kiss from Kankuro.

The puppeteer was more than happy to allow it to be stolen.

Forget what his family and teacher said: Life was good.

~/~

Kankuro, at sixteen, knew he had a problem. He just didn't give any shits about it anymore. Screw his father's warnings: _Alcohol was amazing._


End file.
